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Written by Boris Ludwig   

Have you ever had that frustrating feeling of being at a loss for words? You know what you want to say - the perfect idiom exists in your own language - but you're speaking English, and English sadly lacks the very turn of phrase you love so much! Boris Ludwig presents some of the "missing idioms" which we think ought to be introduced into European English... And this time, he tries to stay "as calm as a Belgian" when faced with "Balkan conditions"...

cow
Photo: Daniel Schwen (licence)
"I'm actually a Swiss cow, so my French is great."

From the scientific point of view, a sterotype is nothing more than "a commonly held public belief about specific social groups." Well, I have to admit that this concept seems a bit dry to me, too. Stereotypes can be much more: they can be proof of our own origin, they can express the opinions of our ancestors and they can reflect an image which our country evoked decades ago. In any case, many are basically entertaining evidence for the variety of European languages.

So E&M has collected a few idioms which we think should be translated into English, so that you can find out how foreign languages have perpetuated you and your country. Maybe next time you share a flat with a couple of Erasmus students or simply sleep in a bed and breakfast with people from all over Europe, you will be prepared.

It might be quite useful for example, to know a couple of alternative complaints when talking about a messy appartment or a breakfast buffet that has been left in a mess as you are a late riser:  "Oh my, look at these balkan conditions!" (balkáni állapotok) would be a Hungarian way to paraphrase the devastating state of the kitchen table.

 Well, hopefully there is a Belgian nearby when you realise that there is no breakfast left for you. At least that is what Lithuanians would feel, as someone who weathers a blow such as no breakfast without an outburst of fury is as calm as a Belgian (ramus kaip belgas) to them.

Just in case there is no Belgian around and you really suffer an emotional breakdown because your flatmates ask you irritatingly mocking questions rather than sympathising with your plight, you can still follow the Polish example and tell your flatmates not to play Greek (Udawać Greka). If you're asked what the heck this means, it derives from the classical Greek philospher Socrates, who asked various Athenians rather abstract questions in order to find out if anyone was smarter than himself.

Right now you've probably already caused quite a fuss in your international apartment or in the hotel you spent the night in. So E&M kindly offers you a way out of your tricky situation, too. Either take French leave (or as the French would say, take English leave, filer à l'anglaise) or tell your opponents, I speak your language like a Spanish cow (Je parle ta langue comme une vache espagnole) Actually, this French idiom is used of someone who speaks poor French, but we're pretty sure that it works in the internationalised version, too.

And even if our guidebook probably creates more problems than it solves – you're still cordially invited to make ample use of our idioms!

 
Related Articles:
» LOST... LOVE GOES THROUGH THE STOMACH (Christian Diemer, issue 11)
» ...AND FOUND: A SENSE OF DéJà VU (Lucy Duggan, issue 8)
» ...AND FOUND: A DOG IN THE MANGER (Lucy Duggan, issue 6)

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