< SWITCH ME >
| The Lighter Side of the Lisbon Treaty |
|
| Written by Robert Leadbetter | ||||||||||||
The Lisbon Treaty of 2007 came into effect in December; though I use the word 'effect' rather loosely. It is intended to update and reform previous treaties, but despite having its heart in the right place, it is riddled with its own little idiosyncrasies. The Treaty's reforming aim relies on the idea that national governments are committed to making European integration succeed. But if anything, the Treaty seems to show that not all members take the EU as seriously as they should, and as a result they have created an agreement with more holes in it than Tupac after a night out. Let us delve into some of these holes and explore the bizarre Wonderland that gave birth to the Lisbon Treaty. First, let’s look at the Treaty itself. At 272 pages, it's as long as most novels, and a considerably less interesting read. As well as the obvious lack of plot or well-developed characters, it also suffers from having been written by 105 different people. The fact that it has to apply generally to very wide issues as well as functioning as an amendment to the already existing Maastricht Treaty results in whole passages that simply don't make sense. But don't despair: we've fished out some selected highlights of the Treaty, so you don't have to wade through it! Imagine 105 bureaucrats in a room tasked with amending the previous Treaty - never let it be said that pedants don't party:
and so it continues. Other amendments are just too complicated to make any sense:
Read it twice: it still won't mean anything. There hasn't been such an extensive and confusing line of subclauses since Santa last put out an open ad for a new 'Little Helper'.
Now to what the Treaty actually does: its 'Charter of Fundamental Human Rights' is a major topic of debate in Europe. The Charter demonstrates the fact that the heart of the Lisbon Treaty is in the right place, but it seems strange even to include it, since the EU officially does not include members who knowingly contravene basic rights, and since some countries have been given an opt-out anyway. Keeping the Charter in its current state is like trying to use a crisp packet as a contraceptive: not only ineffective, but potentially damaging. Admirable as it is, the Charter is unnecessary and implies a certain amount of mistrust of the EU's member states. The Treaty has also created two important new positions within the European Union: a President, and a Foreign Minister. Do you know who Herman Van Rompuy is? Or Baroness Ashton? Don't worry if you don't. National leaders have spent years climbing the slippery pole of political hierarchy and are unlikely to want to extend that pole by creating a new post in Europe that has a greater public profile than theirs. This means that two of the least known candidates (Rompuy and Ashton) are now the new President and Foreign Minister. Thanks to the Treaty, we have a President who is about as charismatic as a stick of celery, while the most interesting thing that anyone has to say about Ashton is that she keeps a full-size Dalek in her living room.
Rompuy does distinguish himself, however, as one of the few politicians who is also a poet. He has written a series of haikus on a variety of subjects and with an equally varying degree of literary success. One poem, 'Time', is my particular favourite, showcasing a style so clichéd that it makes 'The cat / Sat on / The mat' seem stunningly original: Life is sailing on the sea of time but only the sea remains The Lisbon Treaty and Van Rompuy both clearly have very high hopes for Europe and strongly humanist ideals. The Treaty does do some things right: it is part of a long process of integration and is an important step along the way. The Treaty gives the European Court of Justice new powers to act 'with the minimum of delay' when dealing with individuals held in custody; it gives national parliaments more of a role in the legislative processes of Europe, and it makes combating climate change a stated objective of the EU. It's fun to pick holes in it, but at least it is trying to make the Union work; yet there is also a chance that it may fall a little short of achieving the great changes that it is capable of making. Only time (that sea upon which 'Life' sails) will tell. |
