< SWITCH ME >
- Written by Hanna Pilawa
THE ONE AND ONLY
Nobody can really compare with him. He's dieu-donne - God-Given. He has been exceptional from birth, loved and adored, and that for good reason. Thus, he believes that he will achieve everything he intends to, and that belief is correct: he will. What is more, he looks fabulous. Who wouldn't like to be like him?
|A less shiny sun.|
Louis XIV of France - formally ascended the throne a few months before his fifth birthday and reigned for the next seventy-two years, three months, and eighteen days, a record that has never been beaten since. He won the most wars, the most women and destroyed most of his enemies. He became the archetype of the absolute monarch. During his reign, French culture flourished. Regrettably, according to historians, he never really said his most famous one-liner: L'État, c'est moi! ("The state, it's me!") But surely he had every reason to do so!
1st: Get yourself a good teacher - you need a master who will teach you everything he knows, but make sure his skills correspond with your plans. Louis was taught how to run the country by Cardinal Mazarin, who happened to be an exceptionally talented politician. The two were in fact so close that many actually believed the Cardinal to be Louis' real father.
|God wants to help you!|
2nd: Believe in God - that's a very important point. Everyone can claim to be something extraordinary. It's good to have someone who can legitimate that status of yours, and God seems to be just perfect. After all, nobody can discuss it with HIM!
3rd: Find yourself a fancy nickname - short, catchy and appealling. The Sun is obviously taken, but there are other celestial bodies you could use the names of.
4th: More sports, less cigarettes - if you intend to become an outstanding figure in the history of mankind, it's better to make sure you'll be there for a while. You'll need your body in the future, so make sure you don't abuse it now. Forget cigarettes, drink alcohol only once in a while and try to sleep enough. Sport will keep you in good shape. For the only situation when you can allow yourself a bit more, see below.
5th: Throw great and legendary parties - it's good to make it clear to your mates who they're dealing with. A party like Louis' Plaisirs de l'Île enchantée (Pleasures of the Enchanted Island), which lasted for a week, might be a good occasion. An event like this will be talked about for at least couple of weeks, preferably months - so the next time you announce a party on facebook, nobody will even think of rejecting your invitation. Instead, people all over Europe will copy your parties.
6th: Dance! - to see why, go on youtube.com and type le roi danse in the search engine.
Good luck! We're looking forward to hearing about you!