The master and commander

Do you think there's too much democracy in Europe? Always talking and talking, and letting the Irish decide whether to say yes or no, and waiting until everyone agrees. And then it's too late to act anyway. Deep in your heart, you're convinced that too many cooks spoil the broth? Do you want to end this fiasco and sort things out on your own?

www.wikipedia.org

Alex long time ago

Voilá - you are not alone: Alexander the Great recognized the problem of too many cooks very early on - 2400 years ago, actually. He was one of the most successful military commanders of the ancient world and founded a world empire - or at least an empire which covered the world known at the time by his people. He was quite clever and enjoyed an excellent education. But democracy was not his thing: he decided to sort things out on his own without asking too many people - often with rude brutality. And here are six ways to rule the world by yourself like the great Alex.

1st of all: Trace your genealogy back to an ancient hero, or, even better, three. Alex was the son of King Philip II of Macedon who claimed to be a descendant of Heracles (a son of godfather Zeus himself!). Alex' mother Olympias, meanwhile, insisted that she was related to the hero Achilles (Alex' favourite hero; he never slept without the Iliad under his pillow). And finally, there were ancient writers who spread the rumour that Alex did not need these relations at all - because he himself was a son of Zeus. (However, his mother's opinion on that point is not known.)

2nd: Learn from the best! His familiy situation may have been unclear - but his education was adequate. When he was a young boy his private teacher was the Greek philosopher Aristotle. Nowadays we do not have that many famous philosophers anymore, but you may try to win an important person like Bill Clinton or Joschka Fischer as your personal coach - they all have plenty of time right now!

Charles Le Brun

Alex in 1673

3rd: Be hard on yourself! You must have the strong belief that you're better than the rest, and especially that you're better than your family. Alex liked his father Philip very much, even though he was already working for him as a commander at the age of sixteen. But his father was a womaniser and drank far too much, so he and Alex often often argued. Deep down, Alex probably felt that he was made for something higher than merry evenings with drunken soldiers, friendly women and petty fights. Instead he preferred to study - and today everyone knows his name, but who the heck was Philip?!

4th: Be interested in as many subjects as possible - you never know when you might need one of them! As a young boy Alex didn't only like philosophy and literature, but was also very interested in medicine. When he was king and commander, he prescribed his soldiers medicine and healthy food to keep them in shape. So he was such a renaissance man that he didn't even need a doctor. And when he finally asked for one, that very doctor accidentally poisoned him - and Alexander died!

Sebastiano Conca

By 1750 Alex had gained some weight.

5th: Be vain... Alex did not give a damn about modesty. In nearly every country he conquered, he founded a city called Alexandria. So that everyone would be reminded of him, whether they liked it or not!

6th: ...but go multicultural! So, here's the secret to how to rule several nations without having to face a people's revolution every month. Alex may have been vain and brutal when he marched through foreign lands, but he thought multiculturally: he didn't care about nations or countries, but only divided people into friends and enemies, which made ruling his empire much easier. And when nothing else helped, he let his soldiers marry foreign women in order to mix the cultures. So if you don't get along with the stubborn Irish - why not marry an Irish girl or boy?

And last but not least - if you really want to rule Europe, you need to jump in and solve things the quick way. It was Alex who did not think up long and complicated plans, but cut the Gordian knot with a simple bold stroke! So imagine you're sitting in the European parliament and have been listening to people's discussions for ages - stand up and show them your sword! Best case: They'll be so confused that they immediately stop talking. Worst case: They'll call a psychiatrist. Good luck, little Alex!