Photo: Manuel J. Dolezal

E&M columnist Manuel Dolezal

One of the defining moments of a relationship is when you first meet your girlfriends parents. The mere fact that, if everything turns out right, the two old people may one day become your in-laws, puts an enormous amount of pressure on you. You better make a good impression, otherwise your relationship is in many ways doomed.

You probably remember Claire, my french girlfriend. We've been together for more than three years and I can proudly tell you that I managed to pass the meet-the-parents-test - but not without some major diplomatic irritation. You need to take into account that we are really talking about some delicate cultural diplomacy here: I, the German bratwurst, was asked to spend an evening of haute cuisine at my girlfriend's family's châlet in the French Alps.

It's hard enough when you have to think up a strategy to get your girlfriend's parents to

Photo: Marta Savoldelli / www.youthphotos.eu

Meet the parents

like you. How to meet the emotional expectations of the mother, who probably dreams of a handsome young gentleman - and at the rational expectations of the father, who needs to be reassured that you are able to provide a good life to his sweet little darling? In a transnational relationship, you have to also be aware of the constant risk of breaking some unwritten rule of another culture. It's almost impossible to think up a strategy that covers all this.

So I arrived somewhat unprepared at the small airport in the Alps, my girlfried and her dad picked me up, bonjour, comment allez-vous, bisous, no problem so far. At home, her mother had already prepared the meal, a classy five course dinner with champagne and good wine. You need to know for your background that my idea of culinary art is ordering a pizza.

We sat down in the dining room and had foie gras for starters. I thought: "Yummy!" and began to smear the delicious duck liver pate on a slice of bread. Claire and her parents looked at me as if I was a barbarian. But how was I supposed to know that you never smear foie gras? Looks kind of the same as German liver sausage, and in my country people don't have a problem with smearing this anywhere.

Good for me that Claire's parents are no militant supporters of haute cuisine. After the shock moment they smiled mildly. In fact, that evening Mr. and Mrs. Leforestier found a new educational mission: Teaching their daughter's boyfriend the specifics of French cuisine.